Father asks his son

father - whenever i hit you, how do you control your anger?

son - hmm dad, i go into the toilet and clean the toilet sit

father - that is very good by boy, but how does that help you control you anger?

son - i used your thoot brush to clean the toilet daddy

• boy friend : After 3 years, I have to let you know I can no longer be your Boyfriend…
• girl friend : WTF! You can’t be serious right now… it’s cool though Josh, that’s why I’ve been having sex with your best friend for the past 2 years. YOU FOOL!
• boy friend : Wow… really? I was about to say I can’t be your boyfriend anymore because I want to be your husband.

UCHE: Mommy, can I go to Chidera’s house?

MOMMY: No!

UCHE: Why?

MOMMY: No fuel.

UCHE: Ahn ahn! I’m using my legs.

MOMMY: If you get missing, is it not a car we are going to use to find you?

• Father-In-Law : Young man, U’re coming to seek my daughter’s hand in marriage and u’re chewing gum.That’s a sign of disrespect!
• Man : Sir, I only chew gum when I drink or smoke
• Father-In-Law : You mean u drink & smoke and u’re here to seek my daughter’s hand in marriage?
• Man : Sir I only drink & smoke when I go to the club.
• Father-In-Law : U club too?
• Man : I’m sorry sir, I started club(less)

Doctor: So, how did this happen?

hausa man: I was ironing my clothes and the phone rang. I picked up the iron by mistake instead of the phone.

Doctor: And what about the other ear?

hausa man: That idiot called again.